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Larry James

Articles by Relationship Speaker/Author Larry James

  Is Your Relationship Stranded at Malfunction Junction? • Having a successful relationship is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights shine up ahead, AND you can make the entire trip that way. When you see a bump in the road or have to take a detour (to avoid a major disagreement), you simply make a mutually beneficial adjustment and keep on going!

  Half of Being Smart is Knowing What You're Dumb At! • Here's something to think about. . . I've been wondering what it is that causes someone to treat their friends much better than the one they say they love?

  I Was Wrong and I Am Sorry • As a professional relationship coach, over the years I have listened as partners pour out their hearts to me, justifying their position to the detriment of the relationship.

  Are You Being Authentic in Your Relationship? • Being authentic is the key to truly happy, healthy relationships. It is not possible to be happy without being true to yourself. Unfortunately many people live their entire lives never discovering their authentic self.

  Hey Guys! Don't be Someone Who Grumbles! • If you want to keep your significant other happy and content. . . (read on)

  What's to Become of You? • "What's to become of me?" you say? That may be the wrong question. What "more" is to become of me? Ask yourself that question and see what comes up.

  The Truth About Relationship Expectations • Having expectations in our culture is expected. We are brought up that way. Having great expectations sounds great however when the expectation is unfulfilled, we bitch, we moan, we become disappointed.

  What to Do? What to Do? - Thoughts on the Dilemma of Choice! • Dissatisfied with the direction your life is going; the work you do, the relationship your are in? Wondering what to do? Perhaps it's time to do something different. Here are some thoughts about the dilemma of making the choices to change.

  Romantic Jealousy is Scary! • Jealously. . . it feeds on your insecurity, devours your self-confidence, and gobbles up the trust in your relationship. Believe it or not, like other difficult emotional experiences, jealousy can be a trigger for growth, increased self-awareness, and greater understanding of both your partner and your relationship.

UpDated  Kidding Around With Romance • Youthful and playful activities can add spark to your relationship. Being playful in adult relationships is a good thing. It's perfect for a first date and can even help light a fire under long-term couples whose affections have cooled.

Romantic Ideas to Make it Valentine's Day All Year Long! • To be a special Valentine to your partner takes lots of energy, time, attention and Love. Here are more than 67 tips to help you get started!

Larry's Relationship BLOG! • Periodically, Larry James will post random thoughts, ideas, observations, insights, articles, rants, commentary, suggestions, tips and solutions for better relationships. You are welcome to post your comments on his WebLog (Blog).

A Gift of the Heart • Want to know how to avoid a gift-giving blunder? To help you develop gift-giving savvy, when you give a gift during the holiday season or on any other occasion, make it a gift of the heart.

The Romantic Kiss • A kiss has been described as the height of voluptuousness. It has a lovely, luscious and lusty legacy.

Jazz Up Your Relationship • A few thoughts about how jazz music can teach you an important relationship lesson.

Communicating is Not Optional:  How to Listen So Your Partner Will Talk • A communication gap not only undermines the potential of your relationship; it can, and usually will eventually destroy the relationship. Use an effective process Larry James uses when coaching couples to teach them to listen and talk, but not at the same time.

What Is Love? • Random thoughts and reflections on Love.

The ABC's of Celebrating Love! • You didn't learn this alphabet in school. 26 words that can help breath life into your relationship and help you Celebrate Love with your partner; words that begin with each letter of the alphabet.

My Partner Cheat? Never! • Twenty-nine red flags that often point a finger to a cheater.

Poems by Larry James • Two poems based upon a real relationship cast in an imaginary setting. See You At the Beach will give you a sense of the beginning and At the Beach. . . Alone Again will cronicle the gentle completion of the relationship.

Reader Favorite  UpDated  Relationship "Slump Busters" • A list of 52 areas in relationships that can become "Hot Spots" unless they are attended to on a consistent basis; areas that will need your undivided attention if you are committed to work together to bring your relationship out of a slump.

Reader Favorite  How Do You Work On You? • Often therapists, radio talk show hosts and others who provide relationship advice or coaching will tell you that in order to have a great relationship with your partner, you must first work on you. This article tells you how to begin.

Men Have Feelings Too!For Men Only • A discourse in support of a safe place to express your feelings. Scary stuff, huh? Plus complete guidelines for creating a "Men's Support Community." (They work for women too).

A Sure Cure for a Hangover • The facts on the abuse of alcohol are sobering. Alcohol consumption affects men and women differently, however some effects are the same in both genders. Plus Larry's hangover "sure cure!"

Networking: A Woman's Contact Sport • Do women network more effectively than men? Read the success stories of Larry's "Top Five" women networkers and about the personal growth you can expect when you set a priority on networking.

Reader Favorite  An Affirmation for Letting Go • Positive affirmations work if you are consistent in using them and if you are willing to suspend your disbelief. This affirmation will help you let go of the past and get on with your life!

Put the Toilet Seat DOWN!For Men Only - It's time for men to be more "considerate" and to pay attention to the little things, like putting the toilet seat down and helping with the household chores. There is a solution to one of the problems. Inventor, Tim Seniuk's amusing solution may surprise you.

Goodbye, Cavett! • Cavett Robert, CSP, CPAE, was the founder of the National Speakers Association. This article was written to honor his memory.

Domestic Violence Sucks! • Physical and emotional abusive behavior is sick! If you are in an abusive relationship, this article is a must-read. Includes helpful info and links for support for abuse victims.  -  Read one women's story about physical abuse and Larry's recommendation for her situation. Click here.

25 Words or Less: Connecting With Personal AdsFor Singles Only • Read Larry's take on the personal responsibility you must accept when writing or answering personal ads.

Rx for the "Holiday Blues" • Here is a healthy prescription of 16 ways to help you overcome the "Holiday Blues."

Reader Favorite  How to Get the Most From Reading a Relationship Book • Follow these tips and watch your relationship prosper.

The 10 "Commitments" of Networking • Networking is about building supportive personal and business relationships; it's consistently meeting new people and making new friends, sharing ideas and having lots of fun in the process! Larry briefly reviews the 10 things you must be committed to if you intend to have networking be an effective business relationships tool.

. . . And if All Else Fails?REQUIRED READING if you are considering counseling, therapy (or Personal Relationship Coaching by telephone with Larry James). There is no shame in seeking help from someone qualified to give it. Most people resist change until they are backed against the wall; until they feel that there is nothing else they can do. Change takes courage! It means taking responsibility for your relationship and being brave enough to take that first step toward doing something different while you are still afraid.

Be My V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E All Year Long • Valuable words from the letters in the word Valentine that will help you remember to be your best to make it Valentine's Day in your relationship. . . all year long.  

For YOUR Eyes Only • Have you ever sat down, discouraged and out of steam, stuck and with a sense of hopelessness about your relationship? Have you ever felt like you needed to express what you felt? Have you ever taken the opportunity to write some notes to yourself about how you are feeling, even the feelings you feel uncomfortable sharing with anyone? Some call it "journaling." Here are some guidelines to help you begin answering these important questions.

Networkings' Top Ten "Hot Ideas!" • What does networking have to do with relationships? Networking is all about developing great relationships; meeting new people, making new friends, business contacts and finding new prospects. This article presents 10 "Hot Ideas" that will help put your business networking activities on fast forward!

Friends & Lovers • Your love partner should be your best friend and lover. At the heart of love, there is a simple secret: the lover lets the beloved be free. The stronger and more secure they become, the more they are willing to be themselves while encouraging their love partner to do the same. Genuine unconditional love not only respects the individuality of the other but actually seeks to cultivate it. Mostly written in an affirmative voice.

Reader Favorite  LoveNote for Singles OnlyFor Singles Only • Some singles have concerns that life is passing them by. They wonder why you haven't found their true love. They need to learn to trust their heart! It always tells the truth! Larry offers suggestions that can relieve the stress and worry of being alone and being lonely.

Making Love • Thoughts and reflections on making love. Tastefully expressed. The experience of physical intimacy can be the single most loving, most exciting, most powerful, most exhilarating, most renewing, most energizing, most affirming, most intimate, most uniting, most stress- relieving, most recreative physical experience of which humans are capable.

15 Hot Ideas for Phenomenal Physical Intimacy! • Need we say more?

Maturity In Relationships • Maturity in a love relationship is everything! First it is the ability to base a decision about a love relationship on the big picture - the long haul. In general, it means being able to pass up the fun for the moment and select the course of action which will pay off later. Maturity is this and a lot more.

Weigh Your Words • You cannot un-ring a bell! It is a wise love partner who is aware of the potential damage loose words can cause. Words spoken in anger inflict wounds that often take a long time to heal. Think first. . . then speak!

Who Would You Have to Become?For Singles Only • Who would you have to become to have your relationships be great? What could you do differently? Whose assistance could you request? How will you change? Or will you? Are you willing to stop trying to change your love partner? Suggested strategies worthy of pursuit.

New Beginnings! What to Do?For Singles Only • Alone again? Perhaps it's time to invent a new beginning. You can do that most effectively by working on you; preparing for love. There is no shame in starting over. How do you work on YOU? You begin by paying attention to what you need to be fulfilled as an individual. Focus on YOU! Self inquire!

Putting Your Best Foot Forward OR Should I Be Who I Really Am on the First Date?For Single Men Only • We must create a future worth living into. The old way of being in a relationship isn't good enough in the '90's. We must invent the kind of relationship we want, then go about devoting our time and energy to making it happen. It will happen when we care enough to give ourselves the very best of everything.

Powerful Beyond Measure: What's This About Mid-life Crisis? • Is mid-life crisis a myth? We all have decisive and critical moments from time to time. A crisis or two now and then perhaps, but a crisis that ongoingly occupies an important part of our mid-life? Certainly we have learned by now that crises take our attention off of living life to its fullest. . . moment by moment.

Learning to Love the One You're WithFor Singles Only • Spend time working on you. Work on developing your own self as an individual. The one you are with is you! Reinvent a relationship with yourself. Make it a new and exciting relationship; one you can be proud to carry over into your next relationship with someone else.

A Prayer of Thanksgiving! • This article focuses on being grateful for ALL our relationships.

Reader Favorite  The 3 BIGGEST Mistakes Newly Singles Make and How to Avoid ThemFor Singles Only • The BIGGEST mistakes that newly singles can make are mistakes that most singles refuse to believe and, as a result, they soon find themselves experiencing the same relationships as in the past. It is an even bigger mistake to not acknowledge that these colossal blunders really ARE mistakes! Evade these avoidable errors in judgment, and ALL of your relationships will work better!

Reader Favorite  Forgiveness. . . What's it for? • Forgiveness is often misunderstood. We often think of forgiveness as something that someone who has done us wrong must ask of US. This article suggests that you focus on offering forgiveness TO the person who has wronged you as a healthy way of releasing the anger, resentment, etc. This was the topic of Larry James' appearance on ABC TV's "The View with Barbara Walters and her co-hosts.

Same Event! Different Scores! If We're in This Together Why Aren't We On the Same Team? • Men and women see and hear things differently! Perhaps it's all about interpretation! Could it be true that we all experience contrasting realities of the same event? Do we all think we are right? Are we committed to hold on to that opinion? Does this make us happy in our relationships?

Reader Favorite  I Married My Best Friend's Wife! • This is the true story of how Larry James met his wife, Sandy. If the title tweaked your curiosity and you like happy endings, you will love this story.

Shadows of the Past • Shadows of the past are our out-dated precepts and ideas that serve no one. They are our preconceived notions about how we think things should be, should turn out or how things are. The past is an energy drain. Larry tells you how to let go.

The Secret to Solving ALL Your Problems! • What's the secret? You are the voice! What you say goes. You are in charge here. Think and speak only of what you want. Your past is before you. It is created individually by you today. You alone have the choice to make it one you can live with!

A Strawberry Malt and 3 Squeezes, Please! • This story was originally featured in the New York Times Best Selling book, A 2nd Helping of Chicken Soup for the Soul by Mark Victor Hansen & JackCanfield. It is a heart-warming story of love, written to honor the memory of Larry's mother, Mary N. Jarvis. She died as a result of Alzheimers disease. Also see: Alzheimer's Links.

Recommend this page to a friend!

NOTE: All articles listed above are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own website. Contact Larry James for conditions and permission to reprint.

These articles are adapted from Larry's books. . .

How to Really Love the One You're With:
Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship

LoveNotes for Lovers:
Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing

Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers (Career Assurance Press).

Author Larry James is a professional speaker. He presents "Relationship Enrichment LoveShops" nationally for singles and couples. More About Larry James

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